Stooping Low

Today was one of those days that I just couldn't get it right.  "It" being everything.  Days like today can be extremely discouraging and can ignite an explosion of "I just can't do its."  Spinning plates, crashing one by one.  Finding myself telling God, if I am trying to see you, why are you so difficult to find?  Blinded...Closing my eyes...absolutely refusing to see. A child throwing a temper tantrum aimed at a Heavenly Father.  He waits patiently for me to finish.  He loves me and His love is always patient and kind (even though mine is certainly not).  I pick up a book to move it, I notice a page is dog-eared, I read this verse off of that page...

"He must become greater, I must become less."

John 3:30 

Light.  Blinding, painful light.  My frustration is not a product of God not being there, it is a product of me becoming so big that I block out His light.  Becoming full of myself, living in a world where I am "good," where I deserve so much, rising everyday like a tower to reach God. Needing to be brought down.  God's gentle reminder spoken in the quote that accompanied the verse...

"I used to think that God's gifts were on shelves one above the other, and that the taller we grew in Christian character the easier we could reach them. I find now that God's gifts are on shelves one beneath the other, and that it is not a question of growing taller but to stooping lower, and that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts." --F.B. Meyer 

(the book is 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp)

As I began to process this, I remembered some pictures I took of Jess and her friend the other day.  I was fascinated at how they would walk a little way down this path and stop, stooping down to just play with a stick or whatever else was there.  I love how children aren't always so focused on the path or getting to the end.  They take the time to stop and play or to stop and notice.  I took a picture then and I love how I was just reminded of it now...

One of God's greatest gifts in my life, completely undeserved...

Even on a day where I refuse to see, He leads me to a place where I cannot deny that He has already given me some of His greatest gifts.  God, please help me to stoop low.