Monday, February 20, 2012

If?

Dark hours come when we least expect them and usually when we are the least prepared.  One of Satan's weapons he launched at Jesus was simply asking, "If you are the Son of God..." (Luke 4:9).  If?  If can be a dangerous word.  I find myself during the darkest moments listening to Satan himself saying, if He is God then...At times, I find myself crying, why God don't you see me, why have you stopped speaking?   This blog has become a weapon for me in these moments.  It is so easy to let a dark season, day, or hour creep in and steal the very life and joy from us.  Or...we can have something tangible to see God through.  His word, a list of blessings, prayer, pictures...For me it is in these images.  Images taken in an imperfect, broken world. Images that remind me that even in our darkest hours, God is there, God sees me, God loves me and He speaks...
 "Why do you complain to Him that He answers none of man's words?  For God does speak--now one way, now another--though man may not perceive it."  Job 33:13-14

Creek-side Chats...right after I snapped this picture, a dolphin came up out of the water less than two feet from the dock.  
Her face says it all.

We go every year to the Southeastern Wildlife Festival in Charleston.  The girls absolutely love wandering around Francis Marion park and seeing all of the uniquely wild creatures that God created.  They play, interact, and learn to appreciate these magnificent creations.
What is it about girls and ponies??
I fell in love with this guy.  I am going to have this picture blown up and give it a place of honor in our house.  It can be a weapon to use against the temptation to take life so seriously and to be reminded that God created this guy, God has a sense of humor.
I love the cutouts!  They are just plain fun!


I absolutely loathe this picture!  I almost had a panic attack.  Reagan went on her own and asked this man if she could hold this snake.  The best part was as she was struggling to hold it, she asked him if it would bite and he simply nodded his head, yes.  She will be the death of me!
She is fearless!

Will bought me an iphone and I discovered Instagram!  It is a nice change to be in a couple of pictures...my girls will have memories to share of me after all.

Red's at Shem Creek
It was almost 70 degrees Saturday so why not spend the day on the beach?  Jess absolutely loves sand.  I miss the days when I didn't care about getting dirty.  She takes me back to those days.

Reagan went all the way into the ocean, fully clothed, begging us to let her swim.  The water had to be 50 degrees. 

Finding joy in the simple pleasures.
Time standing still, life slowing down, God speaking.

"...If you can do anything, do it.  Have a heart and help us!  Jesus said, 'If?  There are no 'ifs' among believers.'  Anything can happen."  (Mark 9:22-24)








Saturday, February 11, 2012

Dads and Daughters

I always imagined myself with three boys.  I married a big, tough guy.  God gave us two daughters...God must be crazy.  
Now, I cannot imagine life without Barbies, baby dolls, tears, giggles, more tears, flowers, tutus, smelly stuff...and neither can Will.
Every year, Reagan's school hosts a Daddy/Daughter Dance.  I love that Reagan's earliest memories of dances will be with her dad.  I love that he has the opportunity to teach her how a young man should treat her on "dates."  I love that there is a night at her school devoted to this special bond.  Last night was the night, and after a week of counting down days, it finally arrived...
He surprised her with a corsage.
She loved it!
He gave his littlest one too!  (Thank you God, for florists who remind dads not to forget about the little sister).
He told her they could eat anywhere...she chose the Waffle House.
She enjoyed the dinner...
...and dessert.
And dessert again because dads are cool like that.  This girl is made of sugar!

He came home carrying a sleeping girl in his arms (probably due to hypoglycemic shock).  They had fun and she chatted excitedly about it all morning...good memories.  So, God could be crazy to give us, specifically Will, two daughters or He could just really love us.  He could have known that anyone can raise children, but that it takes a man to raise little girls.





Monday, February 6, 2012

Consider the Daffodils



Some days are a lot easier than others.  Some days it feels like I could literally take off and fly, unchained and boundless.  Other days, it feels like I drag heavy chains around, weighed down with worries and burdens, choking life, slowing me down.  I have not gained enough wisdom yet to know how this is, just that it is.  For me, the chain that wraps itself the tightest is that of worry, distrust.  I hold onto that one, gripping it with the delusion of control.  Today (and for the last week), it has kept me immobile, blind.  
     Then, my daughter gave me a gift.  A gift with a message from God.  She gave me Daffodils.  Daffodils picked from the ground in February...Winter bearing flowers.  As soon as she handed them to me, I sensed the Holy Spirit prod..."consider these Daffodils."  I acknowledged that my burdens are heavy because right now I don't trust God, I want control...I have little faith.  Looking at those beautiful Daffodils reminded me of the verse in Luke 12:26-28...
"Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?  'Consider how the wildflowers grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you--you of little faith!'"
I am grateful for these flowers in this Winter season.  Today, they represent God's love and faithfulness to me.  A sweet reminder delivered by His sweet child.  Again, I could not deny this gift, His love, His faithfulness...how much more?  God, I ask you to increase my faith!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Stooping Low

Today was one of those days that I just couldn't get it right.  "It" being everything.  Days like today can be extremely discouraging and can ignite an explosion of "I just can't do its."  Spinning plates, crashing one by one.  Finding myself telling God, if I am trying to see you, why are you so difficult to find?  Blinded...Closing my eyes...absolutely refusing to see. A child throwing a temper tantrum aimed at a Heavenly Father.  He waits patiently for me to finish.  He loves me and His love is always patient and kind (even though mine is certainly not).  I pick up a book to move it, I notice a page is dog-eared, I read this verse off of that page...
"He must become greater, I must become less."
John 3:30 
Light.  Blinding, painful light.  My frustration is not a product of God not being there, it is a product of me becoming so big that I block out His light.  Becoming full of myself, living in a world where I am "good," where I deserve so much, rising everyday like a tower to reach God. Needing to be brought down.  God's gentle reminder spoken in the quote that accompanied the verse...
"I used to think that God's gifts were on shelves one above the other, and that the taller we grew in Christian character the easier we could reach them. I find now that God's gifts are on shelves one beneath the other, and that it is not a question of growing taller but to stooping lower, and that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts." --F.B. Meyer 
(the book is 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp)
As I began to process this, I remembered some pictures I took of Jess and her friend the other day.  I was fascinated at how they would walk a little way down this path and stop, stooping down to just play with a stick or whatever else was there.  I love how children aren't always so focused on the path or getting to the end.  They take the time to stop and play or to stop and notice.  I took a picture then and I love how I was just reminded of it now...

One of God's greatest gifts in my life, completely undeserved...
Even on a day where I refuse to see, He leads me to a place where I cannot deny that He has already given me some of His greatest gifts.  God, please help me to stoop low.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Rest

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

This past weekend, Will and I got to get away.  We are so blessed to have a family willing to take care of our girls so that we can spend some time taking care of just ourselves.  To us that meant rest.  We headed down to the coast and did just that.   I tried to jot down God's gifts as they came pouring in...
sleeping late
eating brunch...having kids means three meals a day, not the luxury of combining two!
matinee movie
68 degrees in January
roaming through antique stores
a long bike ride on the IOP connector over the waterway  
the view...

legs that got me over that bridge (in skinny jeans and leather riding boots, no less)...
thank you, God, for yoga
a husband that will ride bikes with me (the only bike available for him...a turquoise beach cruiser with a basket (containing my purse) and a bell...a confident man) 
these two words...

buffalo shrimp tacos and a "Tell-Tale Heart" burger (topped with a fried egg) at Poe's in a readily available booth, while the Clemson basketball game aired live on a nearby TV
long afternoon naps on a couch so worn that it is like sleeping in a nest
a mixed up order at Starbucks that introduced me to a salted caramel mocha latte...divine 
(the first time I have ever drank an entire coffee drink...the caffeine high...I'm hooked)
another movie, why not?
eating sushi at 10:00pm...speechless
sleeping later
going Home
two, beautiful girls wrapping themselves around us...FAMILY
one first missing tooth...the last first missing tooth...realizing the fleeting nature of time...
GROWTH
a reminder to open my eyes to see the beauty of her snaggle-tooth grin right now
 (taken on a cell phone)
Thanking God that His yoke is easy and His burden is light...Today, always.
Thanking God for rest for our weary souls.



Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A Wildly Wonderful World

Sunshine...61 degrees...thank you God for letting me live in the Sunny South.  
I have been taking an online photography class and needed some shots with light.  Today the sun made its grand reappearance.  As soon as I picked Reagan up from school, we headed out to one of our favorite spots and captured a wildly wonderful world...



Daydream Believer

Uncontainable

Searching and Finding

Seeing 

Resting, rare

Grits "Gritsy Boy" Genesis Bud-Bud Merritt

Thank you God for letting us have this dog.

A priceless, golden treasure

Being kissed by the sun, taking my breath away.

Eyes that speak

Abundant life

Pausing this moment, hoping to make it last forever.

Sister feet

Shoes worn over a wildly wonderful world!

"What a wildly wonderful world, God!  You made it all, with Wisdom at your side, made earth overflow with your wonderful creations."  
(taken from Psalm 104)  

God, I am in awe of your wildly wonderful world!











Monday, January 23, 2012

Bind my Wandering Heart to Thee

     "My son, pay attention to what I say:  listen closely to my words.  Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.  
     Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.  Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk from your lips.  Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.  Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.  Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."  Proverbs 4:20-27


     Will and I have been trying to go through the Proverbs with Reagan.  Last week, we were reading this verse and, yet again, God began to speak to me through this passage.  The funny thing was, I wasn't quite sure (other than the obvious words on the pages) what He was saying to me.
      I haven't posted anything in three days.  I had mentioned earlier that my goal (with great intentions) was to post everyday.  However, God showed me quickly that this could easily become ritualistic and He preferred a flexible heart (a flexible heart leads to freedom...another gift).
     So, for three days I pondered.  One of my favorite verses in the Bible is in Luke 2:19, "...But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."  So many good things to see and to hear over the weekend.  Rainy, lazy, restful days.  God did not lead me to document any of it.  He just allowed me to treasure it and ponder, to rest.  God allowed this verse in Proverbs to stand out, and I believe since then he has been weaving the following into my heart, opening my eyes and ears to what He is saying and only allowing its very simplified articulation until now.
     First, the obvious for me..."pay attention to what I say:  listen closely to my words.  Do not let them out of your sight..." More of God encouraging me to open up my eyes and see (sight), to pay attention, to stay awake, a reoccurring theme in His word.  Also, a reminder to stay in His word.  The daily discipline of reading the Bible.  His living story, sustained thousands of years...a miracle, a gift in and of itself.
     Second, "keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body."  Two posts ago, I wrote about becoming untangled.  This was a reminder of the interconnectedness of our spiritual and physical beings.  What is good for the heart is good for the body.
     Third,  "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.  Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk from your lips."  Guarding my heart has been a discipline I have only recently began consciously pursuing.  While in Virginia this past fall, we stayed with some friends who live very close to an Amish community.  We were talking about the no TV/no technology rules this community embraces.  He said when he asked one of them, they explained (and I am over-simplifying and condensing here) that one of the reasons they did not watch TV was the rapidity of which information came at you.  That your brain does not have time to process what it is seeing or hearing before it reaches your heart.  It reaches your mind so quickly, unfiltered and then spills into your heart (sometimes without us ever being aware).  I couldn't argue with that logic.  I got rid of the satellite.  My attempt to guarding my heart (we still watch movies so I am not exactly sure how that is different, but it saves money anyway ;).  Realizing the need to rely on God's help in guarding this treasure (before I bury myself in rules...so Type A of me).  I read His words.
       I love how this verse ties guarding our hearts directly to our words.  What spills forth from our mouths is a direct reflection of our hearts.  This, I needed to be reminded of!  Today, for me, guarding my heart means less talking, more hearing. It reminded me of a quote I once read,
"There was a wise, old owl who lived in an oak,
the more he saw, the less he spoke.
The less he spoke, the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that bird?"
     Fourth,  "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you."  Our pastor constantly reminds us that life is about simply taking and focusing on the next step (a discipline that I have grown to love).  Only living in today, right now, that is all I have...a gift.  Last night, Will and I were watching previews to a movie and the trailer for War Horse came on (a rainy, movie weekend...another gift).  I was only half paying attention until I heard this quote..."Can you imagine flying over a war and you know you can never look down?  You have to look forward, or you'll never get home.  I ask you, what could be braver than that?"  The Holy Spirit immediately wove that quote into my heart.  Hearing through ears that are striving to listen. I felt it was a message I was hearing directly from God.  The Grandfather who said this was explaining to his grandchildren how brave a soldier must be in battle to fulfill his sole goal, coming home.  This road may only be attained and conquered with eyes that look straight, a gaze that is direct.  God instantly reminded me of this verse, encouraged me to be brave, to look straight ahead, to fix my gaze on Him, and to someday reach home.
     Finally, "Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.  Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."  A gentle reminder.  By nature, I wander.  I have a very difficult time staying on any, one path.  This verse, I pray for Him to seal into my heart.  This verse brought me back to one of my favorite hymns.  One, I frequently play(Sufjan Stevens' version is my favorite) and frequently pray.  One that speaks to and about the heart.  All of this being connected, everything being connected to Him as He "binds my wandering heart to Thee."


"Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above. 
Praise the mount!  I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming love.
Here I raise my Ebeneezer, hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope by thy good pleasure; safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God;
He to rescue me from danger, interposed His precious blood.
O, to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, o take and seal it; seal it for thy courts above."



Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Gift of Another Day

"Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, 
God's Sunrise will break in upon us,
Shining on those in the darkness, 
those sitting in the shadow of death,
Then showing us the way, one foot at a time,
down the path of peace."  Luke 1:77-79 (The Message)

This morning,  my husband gave me a gift.  I am not a morning person so I can count on my fingers the number of times I have seen the sunrise.  If I have seen it, I am usually too ill about being up to even be in awe of its beauty.  However, my husband is a very early riser and captured the sunrise for me this morning.  He emailed it to me after 8:00am.  This morning, my husband gave me this magnificent gift through his eyes... 

I love the above picture because the sunrise looks like a "consuming fire."  
"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire'"  Hebrews 12:28-29
Thanks to my husband, my day began by seeing God's glory because he stopped to take these pictures for me.  Knowing, that I would love this, encouraging me in my quest to see God, seeing Him for me.

Starting the day like this, makes it hard not to see God's love throughout the rest of the day...
The gift of imagination...It was 40-something degrees this January day, but that did not stop this one from putting on her surf shirt, kicking off her shoes, and surfing on the see saw.  Oh, to be seven again!  The next best thing is living through her eyes, her imagination.
With her, we just never know...always up to or into something.

Tonight, I got to fix one of the girls' favorites...mac and cheese (Jess said that was her gift from God today).  Last year, I got serious about our family eating more whole, natural foods (okay, a little serious...I absolutely cannot give up Cheetos and if I quit buying Little Debbies, I think my family would send me into exile).  I figured that we are going to eat processed foods some, but if I took the time to cook, I would try to focus on cooking with real food.  I read a great book called Real Food Has Curves (by B. Weinstein &  M. Scarbrough).  These two guys give a really practical overview of getting off processed foods (at your own pace and comfort level) and it is full of information of the yucky/fake stuff that is in a lot of processed foods.  The best thing about this book was that it included recipes (they both have written several cookbooks). The mac and cheese I made tonight, I adapted from their recipe (their recipe has mushrooms, onions, and broccoli...yum to me, not so much to my girls).  I love this because it literally takes minutes to make.  It is packed full of protein and can stand alone as a main dish.  It is a skillet version and if you grate the cheese the night before, then you could probably make this in 20 min (10 of that will be boiling pasta).  
Ingredients...
Pasta of choice (I buy the whole wheat (less processed) penne variety because it is full of fiber and since it will be drowned in cheese, you really can't taste the difference)
Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (it is always better to buy in wedge or block form and shred.  Plus it tastes so much better.  It is pricey but it will keep for a long time and you can use it in other recipes or salads.
Cheddar Cheese (I choose cabot smooth sharp because they don't add animal rennet).  Again, whatever cheese you choose, buy in block form for a much better taste.  Feel free to add your own favorite cheese to the mix or substitute.
Butter (always real butter, never margarine)
Unbleached Flour (minimally processed and you cannot taste the difference)
Dijon Mustard
Whole Milk (or low-fat)
Black Pepper and Salt (I use Kosher Salt)

To make...
Shred approx 4 oz. (half the block) or Cheddar Cheese and 2-3 oz. of Parm-Reg. cheese (feel free to reduce or add to this, you can always shred more or save the excess).  Mix together in a bowl and set aside.
Cook about 1/2 a box of pasta (8oz.), drain and set aside.
Melt 1 tbsp. of butter (you can get away with reducing this if you are making a lower calorie version) on medium-high heat in large, high-sided, oven-safe skillet.
Add about 1.5-2 tbsp. of flour.
Whisk in about 1.5 cups of milk in a steady, thin stream until creamy.
Whisk in about 1/2 to 1 tbsp. of Dijon Mustard, salt (I guess, but about 1/4-1/2 tsp), and pepper (I just sprinkle enough pepper to sparsely cover the top).
Continue whisking until the mixture starts to bubble and the liquid thickens (about 3 minutes).
Remove the skillet from the heat.  Stir in three-quarters of the shredded cheeses until smooth.  Stir in cooked pasta.
Preheat the broiler after setting the rack 4-6 inches from the heat source.  
Sprinkle remaining shredded cheese over the top of the skillet.
Broil until lightly browned and bubbling (around 5 minutes).
Handles will be HOT!
Cool for about 5-10 minutes 
It is so creamy, delicious, filling, and full of fiber and protein. It easily makes 4-5 portions.  What we don't eat, we  heat up for left overs.

I serve it with some steamed broccoli (I just put a handful of frozen broccoli in a bowl in the microwave, sit an oversized lid on top, and microwave for a minute and a half.  Reagan requested a salad with hers topped with Ranch (see, only a little serious about the whole processed thing).

Thank you God for sunrises, a husband who captures them for me, time to play, and for macaroni and cheese...all found on a path of peace.  God, thank you for the gift of another day!